Good morning,
Being liked feels good. It lowers tension, keeps conversations smooth, and makes meetings pleasant. But being liked is not the same thing as being trusted.
When friendliness becomes the goal, hard conversations get delayed, expectations stay fuzzy, and real decisions never quite happen.
For sellers, trust gives you permission to lead the deal instead of chasing approval. For managers, it creates teams that can hear feedback without getting defensive. For business owners or revenue leaders, this skill protects brand credibility and customer lifetime value.
When customers trust you, they believe your recommendations, pay for value, and come back. When they only like you, they shop you, delay decisions, and disappear quietly. Trust drives predictable revenue and long term customer relationships.
Turn to Best View Tables Below
DEFINITIONS
Term | Definition |
Challenger Moment | A point where you push thinking forward instead of staying safe |
Productive Tension | Healthy discomfort that leads to better decisions |
Credibility | The belief that your advice is grounded in experience and insight |
Authority | The earned right to lead the conversation |
TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE
Question | Format | Answer Key |
Which behavior most often signals you are prioritizing being liked over being trusted | A) Avoiding price conversations B) Asking for next steps C) Clarifying decision criteria D) Setting clear deadlines | A |
True or False. Strong customer relationships require avoiding tension | True or False | False |
Name one moment in a deal where trust matters more than friendliness | Short Answer | Examples include pricing discussions, budget pushback, timeline pressure, or walking away from a bad fit |
DO’S AND DON’TS
Do | Don’t |
Do say what others avoid | Don’t trade clarity for comfort |
Do challenge assumptions | Don’t confuse politeness with leadership |
Do lead the decision | Don’t wait to be liked first |
THE WORKSHOP
MODULE 1. THE LIKEABILITY TRAP
Objective: Help you recognize when friendliness is blocking progress.
Introduction: Most sellers and leaders fall into the likeability trap without realizing it. You keep conversations light, agree too quickly, and delay tough questions. Deals feel good but do not move. This module helps you identify where being liked is quietly costing you influence.
EXERCISE NAME: LIKEABILITY AUDIT
Situation | What You Said | What You Avoided | Impact |
Pricing discussion | We can be flexible | Budget reality | Delayed decision |
Timeline question | Let us see how it goes | Deadline | Deal drift |
Objection raised | I understand | Pushback | Loss of authority |
How to Complete It: Review recent deals or team conversations. Write what you said and what you avoided. The gap reveals where likeability replaced leadership.
Real World Examples: Sellers use this to improve close rates. Managers use it to diagnose stalled deals. Owners use it to spot cultural patterns that reward comfort over results.
CASE STUDY: Problem. A sales team had high meeting volume and low closes.Solution. Leaders coached sellers to name avoided conversations.Results.Sales cycles shortened and win rates increased within one quarter.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Question | Answer |
Why does likeability feel safer | It avoids rejection |
What does avoidance signal to buyers | Lack of confidence |
How does this hurt revenue | Deals stall quietly |
MODULE 2. BUILDING TRUST THROUGH LEADERSHIP
Objective: Teach you how to replace friendliness with earned authority.
Introduction: Trust is built when you lead. That means setting standards, asking direct questions, and being willing to disagree. This module shows you how to do that without being aggressive or arrogant.
EXERCISE NAME: TRUST BUILDER MAP
Moment | Direct Question | Standard Set | Buyer Response |
Budget | What is approved | No budget. No deal | Clear |
Decision | Who signs | Single owner | Respect |
Timing | What drives urgency | Mutual deadline | Commitment |
How to Complete It: For each deal or team situation, identify one moment where leadership is required. Write the question you will ask and the standard you will hold.
Real World Examples: Sellers gain control of deals. Managers run clearer one on ones. Owners align teams around reality instead of optimism.
Case Study: Problem. Buyers praised sellers but delayed decisions. Solution. Sellers led with standards and deadlines. Results. Fewer deals. Higher quality revenue. Stronger renewals.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Question | Answer |
What creates trust fastest | Consistent truth |
Why do standards matter | They signal confidence |
How do buyers respond | With respect |
MODULE 3. COACHING TRUST AT SCALE
Objective: Show you how to build a trust first culture across your team.
Introduction: Trust is not a personality trait. It is a system. This module helps you coach for leadership behaviors instead of friendliness and build consistency across the organization.
EXERCISE NAME: LEADERSHIP COACHING SCORECARD
Behavior | Observed | Missing | Coaching Action |
Direct questions | Partial | Budget | Role play |
Standard setting | Weak | Timeline | Reset |
Decision leadership | Missing | Authority | Shadow call |
How to Complete It: Use the scorecard in deal reviews and one on ones. Coach to behaviors, not outcomes.
Real World Examples: Managers reduce emotional reviews. Sellers feel clearer expectations. Owners see stronger pipeline quality.
Case Study: Problem. Managers avoided tough feedback to keep morale high. Solution. Introduced behavior based coaching. Results. Performance improved and morale increased because expectations were clear.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Question | Answer |
Why is behavior easier to coach | It is observable |
What replaces motivation | Standards |
How does this scale revenue | Consistency |
PATH TO FLUENCY
KPI | 30 Days | 60 Days | 90 Days |
Direct Questions Asked | Tracked | 20%+ | Habitual |
Deals with Clear Standards | 50% | 70% | 85% |
Sales Cycle Length | Baseline | -10% or better | -20% or better |
Coaching Consistency | Ad hoc | Weekly | Embedded |
RECOMMENDED READING
Title | Author | Year | Publisher |
Matthew Dixon and Brent Adamson | 2011 | Portfolio | |
Kim Scott | 2017 | St. Martins Press | |
Mort Greenberg | 2024 | digitalCORE Publishing |
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The Revenue Workshop isn’t theory. It’s a field-tested system used by real leaders, in real markets, under real pressure.
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